How Music Can Heal...or Harm.

These days seem to be a whirlwind.  I have had little time to post due to the busy holiday.  I have always attempted to keep myself busy in order to deal with the onslaught of emotions and feelings that have enveloped my life.  I have never been very good with these parts of my thoughts.  However, I have had to learn to deal with them none the less.  I swear I have tried everything to get a good grip on the waves of highs and lows I feel on an almost daily basis.  Only one thing has ever been able to bring me joy.  It has brought me to some of my lowest points of depression too.  This "thing" of which I speak, is music. 

I am an industrial metal fan myself.  I do enjoy many other forms of music though.  I have interests from pop culture to country, piano music to oldies.  I have always been able to find the deeper meaning in the music I listen to.  Many say I am eclectic, some say diverse.  I say, just me.  I have mood music.  I have music that influences my mood, and music that my mood influences.  My choice in listening from day to day varies.  The only constant I am able to find in all the madness of the music industry is that lyrics mean so much to those who listen to them.  There is so much horrible music out there that doesn't tell a story.  Well, in my opinion it doesn't.  I believe, that music in its truest form, speaks of the heart of the songwriter as much as it does of the performer of the music.  However, reaching the listener on a level that will create an almost intimate experience can be a challenge to even the most experienced songwriter/artist.  I have found these emotional experiences throughout every genre of music.  I am always on the lookout for music that will speak to my soul.  Happy music, sad music, real music, soul music, heart music.  You know, the stuff that makes your heart hurt, or laugh, or cry, or love. 

You are all probably wondering why I am writing about music when lately I have been talking about stuff like Trans* issues and personal experience.  Well, I feel this is important.  Everyone needs a coping mechanism.  I have found mine in music.  I am sharing this in the hopes that maybe someone who reads it will find some peace via the airwaves that are rampant with the melodies of the world.  My ex and I always found peace in our hectic relationship through music.  We did not like the same kinds, but we could always come together and share our love of music in general in order to grow closer and have a few moments of intimacy in the middle of the insanity that was our relationship.  I may have difficulty finding the happy moments in our tumultuous relationship, but the one thing that will always remain the same is the fact that music was a happy part of our relationship.  Not only did it, and does it continue to, help me cope with my dysphoric moments, but it helped me connect with a loved one.  In those times when you feel hopeless, look to your favorite tunes, melodies, chants, and other forms of music and lets the healing begin.