Sometimes it truly amazes me at the sheer archaic attitude of the world. Now, I am not the most worldly person on the planet. I am not the smartest, or funniest, or hottest. However, I will say that I am the "oddest." I know that I have a belief system that is about as unique as they come. I have different beliefs depending on the situation. I will change my beliefs to fit the situation as well. I am open-minded enough to understand that every experience in life is able to be translated differently depending on the facts of that situation. I believe that too many people in our world allow there initial opinion or experience with any topic to be the be all end all of the entire situation.
Somehow there seems to be this movement where people believe that Trans people are whores because many of us are in relationships, yet post pictures of our naked or scantily clad bodies on social media websites such as Facebook, Fetlife, Skype, etc. Let me ask you this. How in the hell does posting pictures, or sharing photos (nudity or not) an act of betrayal towards someone in the relationship? To further explain what I mean I will have to use an experience from my past. (names omitted)
I have been accused by almost every partner of being unfaithful because of sex related issues. Flirting, naked pictures, and anything sexual in nature is cheating I am told. I understand the concept of emotional cheating. This would require, just like any other relationship, time, effort, and a desire or intent to have an intimate relationship. However, I have to take a stance of opposition to the concept that posting a naked picture in order to share the beauty of my human body with whomever I want really amount to nothing more than participating in free pornography. I have recently began taking "selfies" and provocative pictures of myself in an effort to boost my confidence in my body. Being a transfemale, this is a crucial aspect of my transition. I am a pre-operative transgender female and I am obviously NOT comfortable with my body. However, I have found that sharing my body via the internet has been very empowering and has boosted my confidence to heights that I have never experienced before. I still have issues and I probably always will until that faithful day that I am able to wake up after surgery. That should not prevent me from doing whatever it takes to keep myself out of the bathroom with a razor blade attempting to do self surgery. We all have different ways of coping with our emotions and bodies, both cisgender and transgender alike. I do have to say that there is nothing to be ashamed of in the human body, however, most people have some element of insecurity when it comes time to take their clothes off. Why this is, who knows. It is different for every person.
However, I am coming to the rescue and taking a stance behind anyone who has every posted or shared with a friend a naked picture in an effort to boost self confidence. I am standing with all the sex workers of the world and say you are no different than any other small business owner in the United States. Many people say that these types of people are whores and they have no self respect. Maybe they are right in some cases. However, that type of gross stereotype is the same belief system that is keeping the world at war. Its a reason that the suicide rate in the Trans community is at 41%. Its why so many people, trans and Cis alike, are killed, assaulted, and raped every year. I believe that there will never be true peace in our country until these types of stereotypes are abolished.
So now we really get down to me getting on my soap box. I am so completely sick and tired of the stereotypes in the world. I am tired of those individuals who claim that their personal problems are so significant that it forces them to neglect and abuse those around them. How is "I am dealing with so many emotional problems that I can't be intimate with you because it would be to emotional," an excuse. This is the most asinine thing I have every heard. I understand the boundaries of a monogamous relationship, however, I also understand that if one partner is neglecting the physical needs and desires of the other for any reason, finding out that the other partner has turned into an exhibitionist and wants to show off their naked body to others shouldn't be a surprise or unexpected. There should also not be any problems with it. Flirting isn't cheating. Being a sexual exhibitionist doesn't make someone a whore or unfaithful. It means that those of us who enjoy the attention that this "potentially immoral" behavior creates, want that type of attention from the person we are attracted to the most, i.e. their partner. However, if this attention is neglected then obviously there has to be another venue for the attention sought. Everyone has their own venue. I like people to want me with the understanding that they are never gonna get into my pants but they are still willing to give me the attention or the compliments rather, that I am refused in other aspects of my life.
Ok, enough of the soap box. In the real world, cheating requires two consenting adults, where one ore both are being unfaithful to a partner via emotional intent, sexual relations, or sexual activity. This can and does include cyber sex. However, sending a naked picture to a friend or innocently flirting with the hot guy/girl at the coffee shop isn't considered cheating. Being friendly, being a tease, leading people on, playing games with people's heads, and maybe even attempting to create a little jealousy in order to get some attention from a partner it may or may not be. However, its not cheating until the act and the intent is there at the same time. I guess the way I will end this is with this thought from grade school; "I want attention. I am not getting any positive attention or the attention I want. Well, negative attention is better than no attention. At least they are focused on me." Self centered, I know I know. So what? Sometimes, those of us in the world need to be a little selfish in order to make sure we are ok on the inside. If we are not ok with ourselves on the inside and outside, then we can't be ok for anyone else. If we are emotionally in bad repair, then we can't repair anyone else.
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